I have some trepidation posting my first truly vulnerable blog post. I am the teacher. My life is supposed to be perfect… My mind begins to drone on and on. I have to stop and remind myself that I do not want a teacher who is not real and does not share, reasonably, their own struggles, doubts, successes and journey. And I want to work with those who undestand the power inherent in this approach. So here goes…
This summer has been a tough one for learning to smarten my heart, experience some heart hits and how absolutely true that it is a MUST that we focus our minds on what we want and stop looking at what we do not want to have. Because where my mind goes, my life flows.
It is the biggest trap created by the ego to get me to ever so slowly fall back into my rut of thinking that has me defined as not enough, it’s not up to me, I can’t do that, other people are doing it to me, etc. That’s the mental drone of living a life of powerless-ness. It begins with one thought from that well-trained aspect of my mind, the ego. The aspect that wants to think that life happens to me. It does not like the idea that life flows through me at my direction. It does not have the self-awareness enough to observe that its own paradigm plays out as itself, the ego; a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As we are fueled with a desire to continue to grow and live better and better lives being more and more of service it is important to observe our thoughts and the patterns that they get stuck in. Are the thought patterns ones that make us feel better and do more or are they patterns that make us feel small and retreat more? Our dominant thought pattern causes a vibration in our energy field which then attracts to us a ‘matching’ life. That is the Law of Attraction in Action.
This summer I had a relationship problem that was hard to understand, difficulties in where I am living on many levels, faced with moving homes without a clue about details, and grief from someone passing on. This mixed with my own lingering doubts about what I am doing to serve others by building a business had me in a negatively-spiralling thought pattern. So I saw my resources dwindle to a scary point which, of course, was a thought that matched perfectly wtih a negative thought pattern. Hmmm… It will just keep going and getting worse if I don’t stop it.
At one point I had to talk to myself consistently for an hour while doing errands, walking through HEB and going to the post office. I was telling myself thoughts like you are always supported by life, life always support you and provides, life conspires on my behalf to bring me my highest good, I deserve it, etc. I had the idea that I would drown out the negative thoughts. Writing an affirmation and reading it a few times a day takes too long for change. I needed/wanted it done with the pressure of a firehose and drown the old thought pattern that was leading me in the wrong direction. It is interesting that this worked incredibly well to completely squelch the negative self-identity. I was not just thinking it. I was saying it out loud, softly in businesses and at a strong level while driving.
At that point I started getting more calls for my upcoming classes and some computer work. I decided to set clear specific goals, listen to positive thought tapes, spend a lot of time relaxing and focusing on what I want using the tools in my classes. It seemed unrealistic from my old-self. Fake it till you make it. I kept telling myself that it works for everyone and the stronger my desire, the more persistent my action, the more intense my feelings that I will feel when it actually happens, and the clearer the directions I am giving to my mind, the sooner it will unfold for me NO MATTER WHAT THE APPEARANCE IN LIFE MAY CURRENTLY BE.
I took it on as an experiment in faith. I keep going back to when I first heard Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith say that we are not here to be sensitive and to react to things but that we are hear to be generators of our own thoughts, feelings and actions. I see that this is the common paradigm shift that allows each of us to accomplish our mission while here. To even consider this is powerful. Much less to act on it.
We are so much more than even those of us who have been searching and learning for more than 25 years may believe. There is always another level of self-attunement available for us to move into… once we are willing to actually perceive it as that doorway which is open right in front of us. We just have to step into the looking glass a little bit further.
The result is that we have found a great environment to move into with a big deck and other amenities where we can only see friends’ houses, trees, grass and hills. I am looking forward to being in a comfortable environment next to our friends who live there and to being surrounded by nature which I find is so inspiring and grounding. I had the best business results in the past two weeks as compared to the past few months. I had the absolute best match of students in the last 2 classes with people coming in from all over the country. This past Sunday in UltraMind ESP we had the most enlightening and inspiring discussion of any class so far. What a jolt of joy that is. Then to hear from one of those today, just two days later, that he had already solved a pestering relationship problem using the mental video technique to communicate with the other side. All of this change happened in less than 2 weeks! That’s all.
I know my current mantra of thought is doing more of this that supports my unfolding journey or service. I wonder how much more can I direct my life while allowing source to flow through me and as a result become more effective in life? I know the answer is.. as much as I am willing to accept.
It’s an interesting journey to discover that we have always held the key to our own greater life. It’s within waiting for us to command it to be so. With this new belief in myself I wonder what more I will undertake. Spirit, guide the way.
I support you, too, in setting yourself up for success by doing the things I’ve mentioned here and by being persistent in your desire to be, do and have more in life.